JoeyJoelle

Yeah, I know. Here she is again, saying things that possibly made your spirit itch a little.

But most of you aren’t new to me saying that which you need to hear, despite the discomfort.

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I’ve been very familiar with the pattern of consistently start strong and disappear after a few days. Waiting for motivation before I move. Telling myself time and time again: “tomorrow” like tomorrow is promised.

If it’s any comfort: it’s not randomness. And it’s not a lack of discipline.

It’s a pattern.

So maybe the problem isn’t that you can’t stay consistent. Maybe the problem is that you’ve mastered a cycle that’s not moving your life forward.

So instead of asking yourself why you can’t stay consistent, it might be more honest, and a lot more useful, to ask what exactly you have been consistent in.

We Treat Ourselves Like a Machine Instead of a Human Being

One of the biggest mistakes we tend to make is expecting ourselves to operate with the same level of energy, focus, and motivation every single day, as if we are not influenced by anything outside of your to-do list. We expect output without considering our emotional state, our environment, our physical energy, and then when we inevitably fall short of that unrealistic expectation, we label it as inconsistency.

But our energy is not linear, and it was never meant to be. Some days we feel sharp, focused, and ready to execute, while other days require us to move slower, think less, and simply maintain what we’ve already built. The problem isn’t that our energy shifts, the problem is that we interpret those shifts as failure instead of adjusting our approach to match where we are.

When our definition of consistency requires us to feel the same every day, we set ourselves up to feel like we’re failing, even when we are simply being human.

I’m not a production machine; I’m a human creator. So I will act accordingly. – Juneal Holder, Fuck The Race: I’m taking my time

We Only Built Systems That Work When We Feel Good

If we really look at our routines, we’ll notice that they are designed for the version of us that feels motivated, clear, and in control. On those days, everything flows, we show up, we create, we move, we execute, and it feels almost effortless.

But the moment our energy drops, that entire structure collapses because there is nothing in place to support us when we are not at our best.

This is where many of us go wrong, because we build our lives around our peak moments instead of our lowest ones. And when those lower-energy days come, which they always do, we have no system to fall back on, so we disappear entirely.

I still make this mistake. I know exactly when I have no energy left in the week. And definitely know that I am practically dysfunctional around the full moon. However, as I still want to deliver I understand that a system has to be set-up for these days.

We don’t need routines that only work when we feel good, we need systems that carry us when we don’t. Something that allows us to still show up, even if it’s in a smaller, softer, less perfect way, because that is what actually builds consistency over time.

We’re Addicted to Intensity Instead of Committed to Consistency

There is also a part of us that craves the feeling of a fresh start. Also known as the fresh start fallacy.

The excitement of doing something new, the energy of telling ourselves that this time we are really going to change our lives. And that feeling is powerful, it gives us momentum, it makes us move, and for a moment it feels like everything is finally aligning.

Sadly enough, it’s not lasting.

Consistency is repetitive, often unremarkable, and —as much as I hate to break it to you— sometimes even boring. It is showing up when nothing feels new anymore, when the excitement has worn off, and when there is no immediate reward for our effort. It is choosing to continue, even when it feels ordinary, even when it feels slow, and even when it feels like nothing is happening yet.

If we are constantly chasing intensity, we will keep abandoning the very habits that are meant to change our lives, simply because they no longer feel exciting.

We Turn Patterns Into Identity

Another reason this cycle keeps repeating is because we start attaching it to who we are, instead of recognizing it as something we do. We say “I’m inconsistent” as if it is a fixed trait, something that belongs to us, something that cannot be changed.

And the moment we do that, every action starts reinforcing that identity. Every missed day becomes proof, every pause becomes confirmation, and before we know it, we are no longer just experiencing inconsistency, we are embodying it.

But inconsistency is not our identity, it is a pattern, and patterns can be interrupted, reshaped, and replaced. The only thing keeping it in place is the belief that it is somehow part of who we are.

We Don’t Fully Believe Our Effort Will Pay Off

Underneath all of this, there is often a quieter truth that is harder to admit, which is that a part of us does not fully believe that our effort will lead to the results we want. Because if we truly believed that showing up consistently would change our lives, we would find a way to keep going, even when it feels slow or uncertain.

But there is always a gap between effort and reward, and in that gap, doubt tends to grow. We start questioning whether it is worth it, whether it is working, whether we should even continue, and slowly that doubt becomes a reason to stop.

Consistency requires us to move without immediate proof, to trust that what we are building will eventually meet us on the other side of our effort. And if that trust is not there yet, stopping will always feel easier than continuing.

We Are Consistent, Just Not in the Direction We Want

When we step back and look at everything together, it becomes clear that we are not lacking consistency at all. We have simply been consistent in patterns that keep us stuck, patterns that pull us out of our own commitments, and patterns that make it easy to start but difficult to continue.

We consistently delay, we consistently restart, we consistently rely on how we feel instead of what we decided, and over time, that has created a rhythm that feels hard to break.

But the same way we practiced those patterns is the same way we can change them, because the ability to repeat something is already there, it has just been applied in a way that is not serving us.

We don’t need more discipline, more motivation, or a perfect moment to begin again. But we must become aware of the pattern we are currently loyal to, and decide that it is no longer the one we want to continue.

“You are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be” – Wayne Dyer

And that decision, followed by small, repeated actions in a new direction, is where our real consistency begins.