JoeyJoelle

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For a long time I truly dreaded having a routine. I would create one that would work, then get bored and went back to just winging it. Structure felt suffocating to me. Like if I committed to routines, I would lose my softness, my creativity, my spontaneity.

I believed that if I was inspired and motivated enough, I’d accomplish my goals.

But honey, the older I get, the more I realize that having no routine doesn’t automatically create freedom. Instead it sometimes it creates pure, unfiltered chaos. Sometimes it creates decision fatigue so severe that choosing what to eat feels like a boss battle. Sometimes it creates a mental environment so cluttered that your brain just flatlines.

Because contrary to popular belief, routines are not cages. They’re support beams. And some of us are trying to hold up entire buildings with nothing but vibes and caffeine.

Why Do We Treat Routine Like It’s a Problem?

The internet convinced us that routines belong to boring people, predictable people, people who color-code spreadsheets for fun and say things like “circling back” without irony. And whew, a lot of us ran from structure because we thought it was coming to steal our freedom.

Meanwhile…

Routines & Habits Are Your Invisible Teammates

Think about it.

Most of us who consistently create, build, write, grow, and accomplish things are not waking up and negotiating every single decision from scratch. We have systems. We have habits. We have routines quietly carrying us on the days when motivation packs its bags and disappears without notice.

I notice it myself. I don’t have rigid schedules, but I do have systems that keep me on track when life becomes too noisy.

My morning routines, my slow breakfasts, my walks, my journaling, my workouts, even creating systems for my content and blog posts… they are not there to make my life robotic. They exist so my mind has less survival work to do. So I have more room to create. More room to feel. More room to actually live instead of constantly trying to catch up with myself.

Your Brain Is Tired, Love

Every choice takes up space. Not to mention the continuous notifications we are receiving. The external noise. The fifteen hundred tabs that are open in your brain. And somehow your brain is still expected to function.

No wonder everybody’s exhausted.

When certain parts of your life become automatic, your mind gets room to breathe, which allows for room to handle the random nonsense life throws at you. Because one thing life will keep doing is life-ing.

Your plans will get interrupted. Your schedule will experience glitches. Your energy will fluctuate. Your emotions be doing whatever they want. Some days you’ll feel focused, powerful, and unstoppable. Other days your brain will feel like a group chat with thirty people typing at once.

That’s exactly why routines matter. Not because they prevent chaos, but because they give you somewhere to return when chaos inevitably shows up.

Routine Ain’t About Perfection—It’s About Having an Anchor

A lot of people hear the word routine and immediately imagine military-level scheduling. Every minute accounted for. Every task optimized. Every second productive. Honey, no.

A routine can be as simple as making your coffee before checking your phone, taking a walk after work, writing in your journal before bed, stretching for five minutes in the morning, or actually eating breakfast instead of surviving on vibes until noon. The point isn’t perfection. The point is familiarity.

It’s creating little moments that remind your nervous system, “Hey boo, we’re good.” It’s having a steady foundation when everything else feels unpredictable. Tiny rituals. Tiny acts of care. Tiny ways of returning to yourself.

And honestly, we don’t put enough attention to how safe a solid foundation can be.

Productivity Culture Done Lied to Us

I think one reason people struggle with routines is because productivity culture has completely hijacked the conversation. Now everybody thinks a routine only counts if it’s optimized, aesthetic, monetizable, or somehow transforms you into a millionaire CEO before sunrise. Suddenly people feel guilty because their routine isn’t packed with cold plunges, matcha, ticked off their to-do lists, and twelve side hustles before 8AM.

Some routines exist for no reason other than making life feel gentler. You deserves a little support. Not everything has to be productive. Some things can simply be nurturing. And that’s enough.

Motivation Is a Flaky Friend

Let me tell you something that might piss y’all of, but it certainly changed my life:

Stop expecting motivation to carry you.

Motivation is inconsistent.
Motivation is unreliable.

Same goes for emotions Sometimes they’re beautiful. Sometimes they’re inspiring. Sometimes they’re absolutely disrespectful.

If you want to move in life, you cannot build your entire life around waiting to feel like doing things. Routine is what keeps moving when motivation leaves the premises. Routine is what says, “We doing this anyway.” Not because you’re forcing yourself, but because you already decided it matters.

Healthy Routines Are Rhythms

Now let’s clear up another misconception. Routine does not mean rigidity.

A healthy routine leaves you with room to breathe. It adapts when your life changes. I mean, the routine you needed during heartbreak isn’t necessarily the one you need during a season of growth. The routine that supported you during burnout won’t look the same as the one that supports you when your energy comes back.

Life has seasons. And your habits should adapt accordingly.

That’s why the best routines aren’t prison schedules. They’re rhythms. And there’s a huge difference. A prison schedule controls you. A rhythm guides you.

Maybe What We’re Really Craving Is Rhythm

I genuinely think many of us do crave something steady. Something that holds us without suffocating us and gives our minds a chance to rest, because chileee… constantly starting over is exhausting. Constantly rebuilding your momentum is exhausting. Constantly negotiating with yourself is exhausting.

At some point, you just want certain things to flow. You want habits that quietly support you in the background. You want systems that keep functioning even when you’re having a full meltdown.

There’s nothing wrong to want that.

So Maybe Routines Aren’t As Boring As We Claim It To Be

Maybe they were never boring.

I’m not here to determine for you what real freedom looks like for you. But I’m pretty sure it’s not spending every day drowning in decisions.

Freedom to me is having enough stability in all areas so my energy can go toward the things that actually matter—the things you love, the things you dream about, and the things that make you feel alive.

So no, babe. Maybe routines aren’t the enemy. And if there’s one thing I’ve seen: they’re often the reason some people still have enough energy left to dream big after life gets done dragging them through the mud.

If you’re looking for a simple way to start building routines, I highly recommend giving the Fabulous app a try. It helped me create habits one small step at a time, making consistency feel a lot less overwhelming.