JoeyJoelle

10 Years ago on this day I had been with the person I thought I’d spend my entire life with. I had already planned out our entire future together. From careers to house to kids (whewwww)…

Little did I know that on this day I’d become the supply of a narcissist. A lying and cheating one at that.

And I didn’t even know that I had been until he had moved on to the next one.

Now, I’m not gonna say that I’ve been goodie two shoes during these years. I’ve had my share of misbehavior, but one of us had to go through a year of intensive therapy to recover from abuse while the other went on to start family with someone else.

Oh, and on my birthday at that.

As you read this, I might come across as an angry black woman who’s bitter and sad. And part of that is true. I am indeed angry. As a matter of fact I’ve been FURIOUS. But I rarely expressed my fury. Other than during my episodes which he manipulatively knew how to trigger and then to proceed to call me crazy.

Did you know that the favorite supply of a narcissist are people with Borderline? This is what ChatGPT had to say about that:

People with narcissistic traits often seek admiration, validation, and control, while people with borderline traits tend to fear abandonment and may be very intense in their emotional attachment. The result can be a highly charged dynamic where the narcissistic partner feels desired and admired, and the borderline partner feels intensely connected and validated.

Being a BPD-warrior, made me the perfect supplier for their dose of admiration, validation and control…

Until I cut the supply (which wasn’t done in a day, I’ll tell you that). But not without much gaslighting, destroying every bit of myself… Physical, mental, financial, emotional…

But not spiritual.

And today, on this day, after many times crying, self- destructive behavior, begging the universe to just take me off this earth…I can look back and say: I made it, heaux

The attempts to destroy me have failed. I am still here: more aligned, more sexy, powerful and determined than ever.

Surrounded by people who didn’t give up on me, despite being pulled away from them in attempt to isolate me. I have people who still love me, care about me and see me.

I reclaim this day, but not without one final message to my supplier: FYAYM2