JoeyJoelle

June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and this time, I wanted to do something different. Instead of just sharing stats or speaking about men, I chose to speak with them. I reached out to a few men in my inner circle and asked one simple but powerful question: “How can women support your mental health better?” Some of their answers were elaborate. Some short. But they were all honest, raw (rated R), and eye-opening.

Did I agree with all they had to say? Not relevant as this post is for them, and for us to learn. Because when we learn how to show up for better for each other, we all start to heal.

J.

LET US BE VULNERABLE. HOLD SPACE FOR OUR TEARS AND FEARS!

M.

Some good head is one of them. Women need to be relaxed to do it; men need to do it to relax. And that’s mentally too. I could have the worst day… Some good head and ass will erase all those worries and I’ll sleep like a baby. Wake up a whole new man in a much better mood.

Also, decision fatigue -something I personally deal with from time to time. As (and I don’t like to use this word) “man of the house,” I have to decide on a whole lot of things throughout the day. And sometimes it’s so much that I’m just DONE. And coming home to hear, ‘Babe, what’s for dinner?’ or ‘What are we doing then?’ or ‘What do you think about…’

What I need in those moments is simply not having to decide on things.

On a more general level, in terms of mental health, I think a lot of men need the space to be boys again. Just do whatever we want for a minute. Fire up the grill, crack open a beer, play video games. Do whatever without being judged in some way.

R.

I think what every man needs, or at least what I need, is to be respected and accepted. We want to be seen. Like, okay, you know me for who I am and you accept that. That we can simply be ourselves, without constantly having to adjust or change, because this can make us feel like we are not enough. Sometimes women question everything we do and comment on our behavior. We just want to be accepted and respected. And loyalty of course.

Men are natural problem-solvers. So if a woman asks for help, it brings us joy—it hits the mark of where we feel useful. This can be as a provider, a protector, or even just practical things.

Also, the feeling that we’re taken care of. Like cooking, helping with cleaning. Especially when you see I’m busy with one thing, and you take something off my plate.

B.

Something I’d like to emphasize, is when your partner or your nigga is showing emotions or vulnerability, like telling you he’s been feeling some type of way or tells you about some shit that he experienced in this, and this and that way try to listen to understand your nigga without judging. You know, without the man feeling like he a fucking idiot or that you’re antagonizing him. You know? No matter how dumb the shit tells you might sound to you.

Also, if your man tells you to come play a videogame with him. Join him!

S.

Every once in a blue moon, just ask a man: “How you doing?” But not just “How you doing? Good?” No. Rephrase your question. Ask him: “How you doing? Are you happy in life?” Those kinds of questions. Like, “Are you happy with the things you’re currently achieving in life?” Ask the questions that aren’t asked often.

Don’t ask them too often – I don’t wanna hear them every week or every month. But when people do ask me those questions, it actually makes me stop and think, am I really doing good or not? Especially because people don’t ask them often, so when they do, it hits different. It’s actually therapeutic. It makes you reflect on your well-being.

But also, just keep your doors open. Listen to whatever we have to say. That really helps.

A.

I like that we both are doing our own thing, but also that a woman supports me in my dreams by being interested, giving tips, or even helping.

When I’m down, I become more introverted, so don’t expect to get the whole thing out of me. Give me your presence and care -you don’t have to talk much-and I’ll come to you little by little. I like to carry the world for the ones I love on my own. I just need to be a secluded freak for a minute, and no one else needs to know.

Don’t play with the pride I have -which is you, the woman -by speaking or acting on my insecurities, or triggering my jealousy. Learn about my past and weaknesses only to understand me, not to weaponize them.

I like the balance of sharing strength. My strength is yours, and yours is mine. And when we go through our moments of weakness, we communicate through every step of it.

Be my (best) friend with a powerful emotional bond. Don’t try to manipulate or change me. Teach me your ways – in a way that helps us find balance in between.

And real talk… Sometimes healing comes through the body. Telling us “it’s okay, rest now” while holding us : that’s medicine.

Even a passionate moment, a slow kiss, a deep touch, or yes… Even a good blowjob. Not out of obligation, but out of pure wanting can reset something deep inside us. Not because we earned it. But because you see us.

N.

In my case, it’s: give me the peaceful space. I’ve noticed there’s a real difference in how men and women process things. And I’ve come to the point where I feel like it’s “impossible” for women to be that mental and spiritual bridge for men. Our heads are somewhere else -as the man of the house, our process of realigning and overcoming obstacles comes from a higher source. It’s not a woman’s task to fix that. It’s more about aiding us by being the peace and co-creating a peaceful space. We’re already dealing with the war of the world -we don’t need to come home and fight too.

Also, just being heard and listened to makes us feel acknowledged. Not just about our feelings, but in general.

A lot of times, both men and women do things for each other from a good heart, but with the wrong approach. We assume what the other person needs, and when it’s not received the way we expected, we feel a way. Just ask what we need or want and do that.

And I want to add: both men and women should teach each other how to approach men’s thoughts and emotional outlets. That saying, “The world doesn’t care about men,” that was brought about by men. When patriarchy instilled certain ideas, women didn’t really have the space to change that. How can women teach something to their daughters if men didn’t see them as equipped to teach these things in the first place?

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I’ve always been a believer that men need support just as much as anyone else. They deserve to be seen, heard, and held without judgment or pressure to “fix” them. Our role is to hold space by offering presence, patience, and peace. When we show up like this, we not only support the men in our lives but also help break cycles and create healthier relationships for the future. Supporting men’s mental health is a shared responsibility and it starts with us being willing to listen and hold space with love.