My 10 days off are over. I’m not gonna pretend I’m glad it’s over and I can get back to work, because I’m not. And that has nothing to do with me being lazy, but with other factors I will get into later on.
So what all did I find out about myself during this 10 day break?
Apparently, I need at least a week to get used to the idea of vacation
I used to be one of those people who could just wake up and not do anything for the entire day. This was my exact plan for the days that I had. Yet, when I tried to do that, I ended up feeling so miserable. I know this might sound absolutely contradictory as the whole purpose is to feel better and fresh. The first few days I was feeling the total opposite. I would get anxious, because I had been in bed too long. I’d feel guilty for resting, because: ‘How dare you rest while there’s so much you could be doing? There are still goals to complete, get up and get to it.’ Unlike my alarm, my thoughts weren’t just something I could turn off. So, for the first few days it was a rollercoaster ride. Only after a week did I find peace with the idea of not having to do anything unless I wanted to. Okay, that’s not entirely true. But let’s say, after a week I was more comfortable with relaxing.
A night away is always a good idea
The women in my family have all been infected with the busy bee – virus. They’re always busy and their days are always packed. Especially when they have a day off.
I swear, when I talk to my sister in the morning and ask her what she’s up to for the day, she’ll come up with such a long task list…It makes me wonder what kinda coffee she drinks to get this all done. She inherited this from our mother, who inherited it from my grandmother. Sans exaggerating, they’re all like this. And by the end of the day, they’re exhausted. I mean, what did y’all expect? Told you, you weren’t Superwoman.
Joke is though, I have now reached the point where I have the same tendencies. I will pack my days full with shit that isn’t urgent to be done, but I insist on doing anyway. But you can’t do shit if you’re not at home, right? So, I booked a hotel for a night. Best. Decision. Made.
Being in a whole different environment quite far away from home, allowed me to not think about all the things I should/ could be doing . Instead I was living in the moment. Enjoying my days off by strolling, cruising, having dinner…
Also, the duvet is much more comfortable than the blanket we have at home. Might have to consider investing in those…
I’m losing my way
As mentioned before, going back to work wasn’t something I was looking forward to. And this has nothing to do with not wanting to work. It has all things to do with the kind of work I’m doing. Now, I know I said I wouldn’t complain about my work as it offered me great financial possibilities that I didn’t have before. So I won’t. However, as a creative and highly ambitious individual, financial gain isn’t everything. It hasn’t been beneficial for my creativity, which basically what I’m passionate about.
In other words: I realized I was getting off track. The whole purpose of getting a job was to provide a foundation to grow my creative process. Instead I’m putting in so much energy in a company that I barely put in the energy to build my own way. Luckily these days off gave me the chance to see this and helped me realize this. Meaning, it’s time to refocus on what I truly want to do and where I aspire going.
These 10 days were my first 10 days off since last September . And as you can tell, it was quite refreshing and necessary. For anyone who gets stuck in the drag of their work-life. Take the days you need to collect your thoughts and yourself. And live in the moment. They’re over before you know it.